I read what you read. I know what you know.
Listen guys, I’ve never personally met Andrew Tate. I don’t have insider information and I don’t have any legal standing on what he’s accused of.
Do I agree with a lot of what he says? Absolutely.
Do I disagree with a lot of what he says? Absolutely.
But that’s besides the point I want to make here.
The real conversation everyone keeps dodging, because it’s easier to point at a guy on YouTube than at the man in the mirror, is this one: Do you know why Andrew Tate is winning your son?
Because your son is fatherless… Even if you live in the same house.
A Nation of Absent Fathers Who Never Left
Young men need heroes, they need an idol. They need someone to look at and think, that is who I want to be. Someone to inspire them, someone to mirror, someone to emulate.
A majority of dads in this country are none of that.
A majority of men in this country stand for nothing. Overweight. Zero drive. Zero tenacity. Zero ruthless ambition. Butter soft hands. Emotionless. Lethargic. Complacent. More invested in fantasy football than in building a fantasy life for the family they claim they love.
Then their son opens YouTube, TikTok, X, whatever the algorithm is serving that week, and he hears a man. An actual man. Loud, ambitious, hungry, unafraid, shooting fire from his eyes and wizardry from his tongue.
Guess who the boy attaches to?
Not the guy sipping coffee out of a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug he didn’t earn.
The Vacuum Your Son Is Filling
Your son doesn’t have a Tate problem he has a father problem.
Tate is filling the role you walked out of, even if you never packed a bag.
You think because your seed made this kid, he is going to worship you?
While you call a forty-hour work week difficult?
While you outsource your family’s safety to 911?
While you have never put head gear on with him and taught him what it feels like to take a punch and get back up?
You handed him an iPad to shut him up.
You handed him YouTube to babysit him.
Then you got mad about what he found there.
He found everything you aren’t.
He found a stranger giving him a feeling of fire, direction, and identity that he has never once felt from you.
That’s on you.
If Tate is your son’s idol, you have failed as a father.
Yup, I said it.
3 Ways to Become the Man Your Son Actually Follows
Enough diagnosis. Move.
- Get in shape. Starting this week.
Your son is watching you eat, drink, and quit on your own body every day. You cannot preach discipline from behind a gut you’ve made with bad habits.
Train. Lift. Walk. Jujitsu.
Whatever the entry point is, take it this week. Let him see you sweat. - Teach him something hard. In person.
Pick one skill this month and put in the reps with him, shoulder to shoulder.
How to throw a punch.
How to shake a man’s hand.
How to change a tire.
How to talk to a girl with respect.
How to lose without whining.
Concrete. Physical. Repeated. - Kill the iPad. Take the time back.
Every hour the screen has him is an hour you gave up.
So I’m challenging you to cut screen time in half this week and fill the gap with you.
Walks. Drives. Meals with no phones on the table.
You don’t need a play by play, you just need to be present, and you need to have something to say when you get there.
Three moves. This month. Not next year.
The Final Thought
Blaming Andrew Tate is the softest move a father can make. It is a way of saying someone else stole my son when the reality is you handed him over years ago.
One skipped bedtime.
One silent dinner.
One absent Saturday at a time.
Your son is not confused, your son is starving.
He is starving for a man to look at and say, I want to be that.
You get to decide, today, whether that man is you or a stranger on the internet. There is no third option.
A frumpy, mini van dad who has never fought for anything is not going to raise a lion. He is going to raise another sheep. Or worse, he is going to raise a boy who spends the rest of his life looking for his father in every strong man he meets online.
Break the pattern in your house this week.
